How to be the Adult in the Room...Become a 'Response-Able' Team Member
Have you ever had a conversation where you felt like ‘kicking yourself’ because you were left feeling a bit like a child? Belittled? Condescended to? Or maybe you had regrets at the end of a meeting because you spent the entire time criticizing your coworkers. Or maybe you’ve seen someone explode in anger and protest against a perfectly reasonable request? Have you ever thought that you were communicating in one way and later learned that you were perceived in a completely different way? Have you ever told someone off and then felt like kicking yourself for it later? Have you ever used the same technique to get what you want from your boss that you used as a child? Do you often find yourself being defensive about your ideas or point of view? Do you feel that you have to take care of too many people who should be taking care of themselves?
All these situations are common in that we’ve all seen or experienced them. And most of us have regretted our response in the aftermath because we knew we could have, and should have handled the situation differently. We don’t like how we are viewed in the aftermath by our coworkers, supervisors, clients and customers. No one wants to deal with someone who is perceived as a bully, a baby, destructive, needy, naïve, passive, aggressive or passive aggressive.
What if you were presented with an interpersonal strategy to help you identify the markers and triggers of why you reacted the way you did…a way to help you respond to the games we all play at work?
Intellectually, you know how you want to present yourself…and why it’s important to always be in control of what you say and do. You know – to be taken seriously - you need to remain professional in all your communication. Your ability to confront your boss or coworker in an assertive way is a prerequisite to you being seen as credible and influential. To do so you must conduct yourself from - what we call – the ‘Adult Ego State.’ This simple interpersonal and behavior change strategy called Transactional Analysis is the foundation on which this course is built.
Learn to be in control of your emotions. Learn to control the outcome of any conversation. Learn to make the choice and commitment to change your behavior to best serve your own needs. Learn to communicate and confront assertively. Learn how to be taken seriously.
Participants will learn:
- How to respond - instead of react - to provocative triggers from others.
- Why we feel the way we feel when spoken to antagonistically.
- What it means to communicate as a Parent, Adult & Child, and the likely responses to each.
- How to control an interaction – and the other’s response - by choosing the ‘Ego state’ from which we speak.
- Why small fights become big fights.
- How to assertively confront people and situations.
This course will help you to:
- Develop unconscious influence over others
- Increase self-awareness
- Limit repetitive, negative behavior
- Improve communication skills for excellence in human relationships
- Build meaningful, helpful relationships at work
- Manage work stress aiding in managing self
- Become more assertive
- Develop time management skills by accelerating the problem solving process in teams
Prerequisite: Accompanying Free Psychological Assessment!
Please contact me (firstname.lastname@example.org) for access to your free online psychological assertiveness assessment, which accompanies this course. This course will have more meaning to you if you come with some level insight as to where your strengths and developmental needs lie! Self-awareness is key, and this assessment is a great starting point. This personal & professional development assessment, which can be completed in 20-25min, measures 5 scales:
- Your ability to advocate for yourself, and the level of confidence you have in doing so.
- How you handle assertive/strong minded people.
- Your ability to take action despite the risk of rejection or embarrassment.
- Your level of Subservience to others at your own expense
- Your level of aggression and manipulation to others in order to get your way.
Each of my courses are accompanied by a free online psychological assessment!
Additional private coaching also available. (duanekandrews.com)
What People Say About Duane (More Found on LinkedIn)
I’ve worked at the NYC DOT for more than twenty-three years and in that time I have attended many different types of training, working groups, and seminars. Duane Andrews might be the best all around trainer/instructor I’ve ever met. Mr. Andrews was well-prepared, knowledgeable, direct, honest, and demonstrated patience and commitment to his students. In my opinion, his best quality was his ability to create the comfortable feeling of a one-on-one training environment despite the twenty-five other students in the session. I would highly recommend Duane Andrews as a trainer. John P - Executive Director
In pursuit of Baruch College's Project Management Certification, I had the privilege to take Duane Andrew's class on Negotiation, Decision Making, and Conflict Management. It is the BEST class I have ever taken in my academic and professional careers. Duane is an excellent instructor. He brings a very unique and passionate approach to teaching. He created a safe space for students to share negative encounters that they experienced during the conflict simulations. This safe space allowed me and others to openly and freely ask for constructive criticism of our work. Moreover, it also allowed students to engage in dialogue that fostered transparency that nurtured personal growth. I left the class with much more awareness of how I've contributed to conflicts, was challenged to be a better version of myself and emboldened to embrace conflict to seek positive win-win resolutions. Never in my career have I encountered such a learning experience. One cannot leave the class without being spurred to be better. I highly recommend this class and especially Duane Andrews to anyone who seeks to learn the skills to resolve conflicts and foster genuine discussions of change. Jennifer L - Major Accounts Project Manager
Duane Andrews is an excellent educator and I highly recommend anyone looking to take a management course, whether you are new to managing people or want to enhance your management skills to sign up for one or all of his courses. I have taken a number of his management courses and each one was nothing short of inspirational. Duane is a leader with well-honed, real-world business experience; he embodies greatness and imparts practical business knowledge, which can be immediately applied to management practices within any industry. Duane's courses are participative, if you are looking for a course where you are looking at a series of slides and taking notes, look elsewhere, because he'll make you work and you'll thank him for it. I would recommend Duane for in-house management consulting, coaching, leadership workshops. He is that good, a true leader personified. Jessica H, PMP, CSM, Executive Director-- Risk IT Rapid Solutions Project Manager/Business Analyst
Duane is the best teacher that I've ever had. I took three courses with him last semester Organization Development, Leadership and Conflict Resolution. All of these three courses were just great ! Duane is an expert in OD, a leader who knows how to develop others and a good negotiator who knows how to ask the right questions. I learned a lot from him. Maybe there are other good teachers who teach well, but Duane did way more than that. Personally, I regard him as a model in my life. Duane is competent and responsive. He cared for everyone in the team and he provided us an environment where we could motivate ourselves. He was enthusiastic, positive and always willing to help. Every time I think of him, I feel encouraged to cope with all the difficulties that I meet in work or in life. I was really lucky to have him as my teacher. The only pity was that I couldn't have spent more time with him. A big thank you, sir. Z Ye - Organisation Development - Management trainee